Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I AM VODKA MAN
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
