So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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