I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
