I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
