we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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