Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
