omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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