i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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