If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
