Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
