anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
