So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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