good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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