Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
