Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
