god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
