He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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