And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
