I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
