Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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