It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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