I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
