We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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