I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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