so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
