Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
