I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
