So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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