omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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