He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
