i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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