addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you had me at cake vodka
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
