I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
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