this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
