i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
