It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
