i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
