ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
