problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
