Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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