There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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