ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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