so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What drink are we having for lunch?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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