i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
