And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
