Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
