he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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