It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
wanna go halves on a baby?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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