You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
