Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
