drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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