Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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